Sunday, February 19, 2012

Mountain schools, graduating as a "man"

I found myself in deep thoughts, odd years ago as a small boy yearning for acceptance and sense of belonging. My brother told me not to go as he won't be there to look after me for the whole month, he was just concerned as he had been there. Friends told me it was about time we also became men. It did make sense but I kept on asking the difference with circumcision performed at the doctor, the explanation provided was fit for decision making but not logic in the sense that I did not see the difference. I mean the results are the same. As at this time I did not know the teachings and other lessons I beam with pride when I think about them.

The fist two days were the hardest of them all, I regretted my choice immediately after admission. Amidst stats showing alarming death rate re the practice respected by many and practiced by few cultures, I survived in fact all graduated.

The ritual dates back many years ago. According to my sources, it was used not only as circumcision but an opportunity to teach and groom young men, knowledge and skills we also transferred. Preparation to fatherhood and responsibilities of a man in society. The amount of respect one is shown from the society post graduation is amazing so only a hand full don't practice or rather attend to this ritual.

Most of the points revealed through my sources were evident at my time of attending the ritual. I started understanding my actions and responsibilities also my say in society.

It was not easy though, there were days I missed home so much that I wanted to quit knowing very well its not acceptable. I remember one day asking my brother the ins and outs of back home, I could see he wanted to tell me but he could not due to the fact that I will end up crying and that would break him. The celebrations, songs were just awesome not to mention the fun I had with friends, I remember when we used to count weeks thereafter days, we would list all the girls we would like to go after as soon as we arrive at home.

The bird was free at last so was its wings, I was so colorful actually color blocked on the day of my graduation. Beads and my short were so nicely coordinated thanks to the elders. While being accepted back to the society as men with an end ceremony fit for a king; only a week long teachings at home then I was now ready.

How you view your culture and its rituals may not play an important role to everyone, however the most important thing its what you take from them and actually applying them. Yes, we can't look away when those that use the ritual as an excuse to make a quick buck, they have to be locked away, lives are lost in the process as a result reflecting bad to the ritual itself.

Saturday, February 04, 2012

That Sunday afternoon

It was on Sunday afternoon just hours after the loud music from the church band, when I decided to finally give online dating a try. There I was with a pen and paper scribbling names I could use, I finally settled for "informed", it made sense to what I thought I knew at that time. I browsed around to what seemed like half naked pictures on some of the profiles. Days went by so did weeks; somehow I knew I will be successful with a "shag" but the inner voice in me whispered even better results, a relationship.

Fun, it was. I mean the things people ask make one wonder if they will actually ask in person. Some are even brave, inbox you their own private numbers even worse a physical address. R5.00 automatically looked like air time, luckily at that time vendors were not greedy; R1.00 was not added. After so many countless chats and three to four meetings, one was interesting that after only two days of chatting we decided to meet at a local mall. The day is so clear in my mind as if it happened yesterday. The meeting was scheduled or rather arranged for 14h00, I rocked my best outfit knowingly that it was not a formal date.

I took one last stare at the picture that was sent to me when we exchanged pictures, then one last look at myself, I was out running when I realized I was running late. My thoughts were disturbed by the taxi driver demanding cash as he shouted my arrival. Instead of being angry at him I laughed so much when I told him to keep the change, not that it was much but at least he would afford five sweets, after all he needs them, I concluded as I smelled his breath with every word he muttered.

A text message just confirmed my date's arrival. I went straight to my date, spotted by the cap worn on the picture I had in my pictures file on my phone. When we finally opted for the local grill stools, my temperature was on another level as my imagination went AWOL, need I mention they boy in my pants. I felt like we have known each other for a while, strangely I related to this person in front of me, I concluded as we walked to the not so busiest site of the mall. Yes, we exchanged saliva while on that hot,long kissing session. At that stage we decided to date.

Some days felt like heaven, little did I know what I was about to discover, the same person who echoed honesty with every sentence was actually married with two adorable children I would later love so much. Disappearing acts of about a week did not even turn me off amidst this revelation. I made piece with the fact that I was a "roll-on", the role I would get an "A" if it were academically ranked.

Those days were over now, the marriage partner was out of the picture luckily the partner understood and accepted the situation later moved out to the family home. Did you partner approve our relationship? I would constantly ask my dearest. Not that I wanted confirmation as I received the kindness when I visited when our relationship was known to the partner.

Months after I moved in, honeymoon was soon over. My friends were not allowed to visit and a visit to them sparked serious arguments, as a result we decided to visit together to friends. The day I never imagined in my wildest dreams came. In the morning, my date was the first to leave, but that day I was told that non-reporting for duty will be exercised, so I decided to wake up and prepare for work. In between breaks at work I would call just to check up like I always did, that day I was greeted by a voice mail throughout the day. I battled to concentrate and I constantly checked the time, immediately when 16:30 on the dot I ran like never before to the taxi rank. When I finally unlocked the door I was met with unusual only. The bed we shared was not made, food was not cooked and I quickly opened the closet....I battled to stand I just fell on the bed; it was over. But why? Was the sex the night before the cause? I couldn't cry but plucked the strength to ask around of my date's whereabouts, of this day, I still don't know for sure apart from what I have been told an sms.

Luckily I had people and friends who were there for me. I told myself that I will bounce back which I did two months later. Well my "date" is gone

Thursday, February 02, 2012

12 months talk

January - I have so many names its not even funny anymore but what can I say, people just had so many rounds with my sister, some even forget the events of yesterdays. The pictures attached to my name are so embarrassing, but true. If its not people comparing me to some nasty or not so cool food then its the rhyme of my name, I was even tempted to charge a fee should I spot a remix with my name.

February - I'm such a sweetheart I would like to believe, the luckiest of them all. Let me checklist, month supply of sex(check); chocolates- the best brands in the world(check);hunks and honeys(check). OMG how could I forget that the world celebrate me, I feel like Charlize Theron, the girl from Benoni when she won that Oscar. Flip the coin, I'm not so friendly when you are single my friend, you would want me to disappear so quickly phela you don't score unless you are that one with benefits. The funny thing is, I'm too short maybe its time I apply for an extension, a girl needs to try "hai no" or even better I can also buy fake days over the counter like those girls who has fake nails,hair...I don't even want to mention their boobs and skin bleaching its just not ayoba. Sorry to offend you ladies, don't worry chocolates and flowers are in order.

March - Sweat that's how I roll lol. I will hug you in advance.

April - Religious circle "nje". I'm mostly in Limpopo, so my lips are sealed. You seriously don't want enemies from this province.

May - Family planning. The workforce just love me, anyway who doesn't like a free holiday.

June - "Bula nthweo, bula bula....I also feel bad, electricity goes up, my brothers at the streets and my underprivileged in shacks are freezing because of me. Just pass me some tissue to dry my tears. I also need that Choice add some lube.

July - I'm so cold and I think one night stand will be fine.

August - Are you pregnant? I guess I am. But wait till next month to test. I'm so windy it gets to me sometimes.

September - I have been dumped..sies man..was I a winter blanket, oh ya I forgot. The baby is coming yeh babe...ooh WOW did you just say you don't care? *cries for weeks*

October - oh well, that's a blonde moment. Not that I don't have much to say but I just don't know how to put it. I got an F in Speech and Public Speaking at school.

November - Countdown has begun but eish sometimes I don't get bonuses.."ranta ya fokola" anyway let me attend this work functions, I don't like talking a lot I'm waiting for that final day.

December - I'm just an open book. My calendar its fully booked, the most being parties and yes booze on each. Many business owners just love my ass, they will do anything to make sure that's the only thing they see..while I push my trolley