January - I have so many names its not even funny anymore but what can I say, people just had so many rounds with my sister, some even forget the events of yesterdays. The pictures attached to my name are so embarrassing, but true. If its not people comparing me to some nasty or not so cool food then its the rhyme of my name, I was even tempted to charge a fee should I spot a remix with my name.
February - I'm such a sweetheart I would like to believe, the luckiest of them all. Let me checklist, month supply of sex(check); chocolates- the best brands in the world(check);hunks and honeys(check). OMG how could I forget that the world celebrate me, I feel like Charlize Theron, the girl from Benoni when she won that Oscar. Flip the coin, I'm not so friendly when you are single my friend, you would want me to disappear so quickly phela you don't score unless you are that one with benefits. The funny thing is, I'm too short maybe its time I apply for an extension, a girl needs to try "hai no" or even better I can also buy fake days over the counter like those girls who has fake nails,hair...I don't even want to mention their boobs and skin bleaching its just not ayoba. Sorry to offend you ladies, don't worry chocolates and flowers are in order.
March - Sweat that's how I roll lol. I will hug you in advance.
April - Religious circle "nje". I'm mostly in Limpopo, so my lips are sealed. You seriously don't want enemies from this province.
May - Family planning. The workforce just love me, anyway who doesn't like a free holiday.
June - "Bula nthweo, bula bula....I also feel bad, electricity goes up, my brothers at the streets and my underprivileged in shacks are freezing because of me. Just pass me some tissue to dry my tears. I also need that Choice add some lube.
July - I'm so cold and I think one night stand will be fine.
August - Are you pregnant? I guess I am. But wait till next month to test. I'm so windy it gets to me sometimes.
September - I have been dumped..sies man..was I a winter blanket, oh ya I forgot. The baby is coming yeh babe...ooh WOW did you just say you don't care? *cries for weeks*
October - oh well, that's a blonde moment. Not that I don't have much to say but I just don't know how to put it. I got an F in Speech and Public Speaking at school.
November - Countdown has begun but eish sometimes I don't get bonuses.."ranta ya fokola" anyway let me attend this work functions, I don't like talking a lot I'm waiting for that final day.
December - I'm just an open book. My calendar its fully booked, the most being parties and yes booze on each. Many business owners just love my ass, they will do anything to make sure that's the only thing they see..while I push my trolley